SandCastles Blogs
Grief Support for Kids Going Back to School: 3 Ways You Can Help
Helping kids navigate grief is never easy, and going back to school after losing someone special can feel overwhelming.
As fall approaches, kids face many changes—cooler weather, falling leaves, early mornings, and returning to the classroom. For a child or teen who's lost a loved one, these changes can feel even bigger, especially when they’re also dealing with significant milestones like starting a new school or preparing for events like homecoming and graduation.
Every child wants their loved ones to be there for these big moments, but when someone important is has died, it can be challenging to handle. Grief support can make a world of difference.
Children under 18 often struggle to process grief because the emotions are so intense and confusing. Having a support system—a team and a community of others who understand—can guide them through this challenging time.
Returning to school is tricky enough with new schedules, homework, and the usual pressures. Add the absence of a loved one, which can feel too much to handle. Kids have to relearn how to cope and figure out how to move forward without that special person in their lives.
It’s even harder during the big moments—like talent shows, school dances, or graduation. These are times when they would have leaned on that person for support, and not having them there makes the grief sting even more. Knowing how to navigate these events without their loved one can feel overwhelming.
At SandCastles, we focus on helping kids not just grieve but also learn how to live without their loved one. We offer grief support to help them find a sense of community and belonging, giving them tools to get through this tough time.
Here are a few things you can do to support a grieving child or teen:
Acknowledge the Grief
It’s important to recognize and acknowledge the grief. While it can be painful, facing those feelings is the first step in working through them. Once kids start to feel their emotions, they can begin to navigate their way through the pain.
Consider Grief Support
Being around others who understand what they’re going through can be incredibly healing. Programs like SandCastles provide a safe space for kids to share their feelings and find comfort in knowing they’re not alone.
Listen
Listening is key. When kids talk about their lost loved one, they’re sharing memories and emotions that are important to them. Listening helps them process their grief and feel heard and supported.
Grief is a natural part of life, and unfortunately, some kids experience it sooner than they should. But with the right support and a healthy grief journey, they can learn to cope with their feelings and move forward, creating a new normal without their loved one by their side.
Ways to help get through the holidays while grieving
Experiencing the Holiday’s are hard enough but adding onto it grieving makes it 10x harder to deal with and get through. Every holiday after the death is hard no matter how many have gone by without them, you always think about what could be different if they were here. But there are some things that you could do this holiday season that might help you get through these hard times without your person here.
Share memories about your person
One good way to keep their memory alive is by sharing all of the fun holiday memories you shared with them before and all of the fun things you used to do before they died. Don’t just share holiday memories but share every kind of memory that you can think of about them that will make you laugh or smile or just think about them. Holidays are about family and celebrating what we have so celebrate your person by sharing your favorite memory you have of them whether that being during the Holiday or not. It might snowball into everyone sharing stories and you hearing stories you have never heard about them, this can sometimes make things even better.
Change the tradition
If it doesn’t feel right doing the things you used to do with them here then change the tradition, modify it so it’s still the same and it still feels like they are there. Just because they aren’t there physically doesn’t mean that they can’t silently be there in the way you continue to spend the holidays. If your tradition was to make gingerbread houses maybe this year try making holiday cookies to leave out for Santa or to give out to family and friends. This way you are still making memories and you are honoring your person by doing something good for others.
Create new traditions
Or make whole new traditions so that you can make new memories, it doesn’t mean you are forgetting them or leaving them behind it just means that you want to make new traditions to remember in years to come. Maybe try driving around and seeing all of the Christmas lights or cutting down your own tree or making DIY Christmas cards to send out. Something that is going to be fun and distracting for a moment so you can make new traditions.
Help decorate
Everyone helps decorate the entire house and get in on the magic and the fun of putting up all of your Christmas decorations as a family. Helping to decorate for the holidays while listening to Christmas music and drinking hot chocolate will get all of you into the Christmas cheer. It will hopefully help make all of you smile and remember your person while not being sad that they are not there to celebrate with.
Donate a gift in their honor
Since they are no longer here to give gifts to maybe make a new tradition and donate in their name, adopt a family for Christmas or donate to a charity you know they would have loved the mission of. The holidays are also about giving back where and if you can so helping others can be an amazing way to tell your person that you love them.
Honor your person
This one ties into donating on their behalf, honor your community and the other people in your life in their name. Let them still hold space in your life even after they are gone, set a place for them at Christmas dinner and go around sharing something you loved about them. Then it will feel like they are there with you and sitting there with you during dinner. Maybe make an ornament or craft to keep around the house that has their picture and name on it, make a symbolic act and dedicate it to them like lighting a candle for them every night.
Opt out of the Holiday
Lastly, if all of these things seem to hard to bear this year because it’s all too much then chose to opt out. It’s okay to say that something is too much for you and is too painful for you to bear right now, make sure to stay surrounded by friends and family during this time. You don’t always have to participate just sitting around the table and listening to everyone talk or sitting around the Christmas tree watching everyone open gifts and not talking is perfect. If this is all you can do this year that is completely okay.
There is no one right way of spending the holidays after losing someone, everyone comes up with their own ways of doing things and dealing with the pain that comes with the holidays and grieving. Not every year is going to be easy to get through, some years are easier than others but as long as you take the proper steps to heal things will become bearable. Stay surrounded by your friends and family and tell them how to help and support you through these hard and difficult times.